


Middle Earth Moms

by breakofday



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works, The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boys Will Be Boys, Gen, I do what I want, Injury, Support Group, but i'm proud of it, dads can be moms too, i love uncle and niece/nephew shenanigans guys, it's a weakness, parenting is hard, uncle shenanigans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-24
Updated: 2013-10-24
Packaged: 2017-12-30 09:17:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1016851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakofday/pseuds/breakofday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After struggling as a single mom of two rambunctious boys for years, Dis reluctantly joins a local support group for mothers with troublesome children and finds that her problems are hardly unusual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Middle Earth Moms

**Author's Note:**

> And this, dear readers, is my crack fic.
> 
> I'll be updating slowly, especially as NaNoWriMo approaches. This is going to come off as more of a mini-series with little drabbles as chapter updates. So far there's not going to be a lot of plot besides just boys getting into trouble, but it's fun and silly and I'm enjoying myself writing it.

“Everyone, I’d like you to welcome our newest member, Dis Durin.”

 

There’s a chorus of hello’s as Dis sits herself down confidently on one of the uncomfortable steel chairs, all positioned in a circle. She is beautiful, thick dark hair and blue eyes, and the other women greet her with small smiles.

 

“Welcome, Dis.” The moderator smiles at her, a slender but strong woman in a light green dress to accentuate her hazel eyes. “I am Yavanna. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about your boys?”

 

Dis smiles ruefully and lets out a bit of a sigh. “My boys are...well...troublemakers.” There’s a few chuckles from the ladies. “They’re attached at the hip, and every time I turn my back, I swear they’ve gotten into something else. Kili, my youngest, enjoys archery, and this weekend I had to drive Fili to the hospital to get an arrow removed from his leg. Apparently neither of them thought the arrow point could pierce skin since it’s dull.”

 

The other women laugh and nod in understanding.

 

“He’s alright now, of course,” Dis continues. “But this is a constant battle.  They are always pranking each other or their neighbors or running off who knows where and coming back with all sorts of hurts.”

 

“My boys are the same.” A woman to Dis’ right speaks up, with hair so blonde it’s nearly silver, and a kind smile. Her nametag reads ‘Celebrian’ in curving script. “They’re twins, Elladan and Elrohir. The other day I caught them climbing out the window and onto the roof, and then jumping into the pool from there. Elrohir missed, of course, and broke his arm.”

 

There’s a hiss of sympathy from the circle and a few smiles. This time an older woman seated beside Celebrian speaks up, with the same blonde hair and surprisingly intense eyes. “I remember a time when you were not so different from your boys,” she reminds Celebrian gently. Dis can’t read her nametag from here; it’s shifted and pressed against the silvery white of her blouse. “You would sneak out of your room and play in the mud with the neighborhood boys.”

 

Celebrian’s cheeks go pink. “I never jumped off the roof, Mother,” she comments, and the older woman chuckles, settling back in her seat.

 

There’s a long, awkward silence, and Yavanna looks around the room. “Does anyone else have any stories they’d like to share?” she asks.

 

A curly haired woman sitting across from Dis speaks up. Her nametag too is impossible to read. “My Meriadoc and his cousin Peregrin set a tent on fire,” she comments, and Dis winces in sympathy. “With fireworks. That old man with the fireworks stand is apparently selling them to anyone who can pay. The thing launched fifteen feet in the air before it came back down.”

 

Her story is met with some laughter and a few headshakes. Conversation dissolves into similar comments about how irresponsible that old man with the fireworks is, letting children buy explosives. There’s even rumor about how he sent one of the Baggins’ boys on a wild goose chase to find a magic ring simply because it suited him. Apparently the poor boy had been at it for weeks before he finally calmed down.

 

By the time the meeting ends, Dis is marginally more cheerful. At least her parenting troubles are wide-spread and not particular to her alone.

 

And then she pulls into the driveway of her home and notices droplets of blood on the concrete. _Boys._


End file.
